Thursday, July 14, 2011

Surfboard Tales

I appreciate, and many of you have noticed, that I've been a little lax in posting to this weblog in recent days.  In part, it's because it's summer and the last thing I want to do is sit in an office in front of a computer and type.  Really, do I work in a cubicle zoo?  Another reason is that there is much going on and, after the horrid winter, I want to be out in the community as much as possible.  Also, it's summer.  That's when the ocean and Sound are at there most accommodating.  I've kept it a secret, but I like the water.  I like being in it.  I have two surfboards, a kayak, and a cabin-equipped sailboat, so you can guess what I do on my days off; days that used to be used to organize weblog materials.

Then there's the fact that I owe a publisher a book, and since I spent the advance a long time ago, I think I'm going to have to complete it.  That means writing time away from the weblog.  [Relax, this is done in my spare time.]

So, I'll try to post something each day but some of it may seem a bit obtuse.  After all, weblogs are intended to be highly personal, and while I post information of interest to the parish, I also have a wide readership that seems much more interested in things like the royal wedding scripture reading, silly headlines and newspaper stories, and what flag is flying from the rectory.  Really, I don't get that last one.

But one of the things I thought would be fun is to record some of the conversations I've had with fellow surfers and bodyboarders while waiting for the next set of waves to come through.  They can be amazing in their Zen-like density or wonderful goofiness.  My guarantee is that all conversations and comments are verbatim and accurate.

[The following was at the end of the conversation about why rappers and hip-hop artists change their names to something exotic and fake.]

Surfer:  "I thought about changing my name once."
Me: "Oh?"
Surfer: "Yeah.  I wanted to change it to Malibu."
Me: "Mal-"
Surfer: "Yeah.  Malibu.  'Here comes Malibu' or "Malibu just pearled'.  'Malibu, dude, good to see you.'"
Me: "As a first name or last name?  Or, as one name? You know, like Liberace."
Surfer: "Who?"
Me: "I mean like Cher."
Surfer: "?"
Me: "Madonna?  Never mind."
Surfer: "Not as a last name.  Only if my first name were 'Johnny' or 'Ricky' or something."
Me: "What's your first name?"
Surfer: "Ken.  See, that's the problem.  Everyone would call me 'Malibu Ken'".
Me: "Yeah, that wouldn't work.  What's your last name?"
Surfer: "Beach.  That wouldn't work, either. That one's taken."

[Excerpt from Reading Water, all rights reserved © 2011]