Saturday, July 16, 2011

Surfboard Tales, Part III

Surfer: Got my mangoes stolen yesterday.

Me: Pardon?

Surfer: My mangoes. On the beach. Stolen.

Me: Oh, yeah. I lost a backpack last season. While I was in the water.

Surfer: Know who did it?

Me: No, although nowadays I have a GPS transponder in my bag so I can chase down whoever takes it.

Surfer:  I should have done that with my mangoes. They were in a plastic bag that I stuffed under the bench in the lifeguard station. I like mangoes; gets the saltwater taste out of my mouth. I wasn’t in the water five minutes and they were gone. The bag they were in was just blowing down the beach. Five minutes, and I didn’t see anyone else on the beach. It’s like a cat burglar.

Me: Or a bird burglar.

Surfer: Huh?

Me: Look. [I pointed at some seagulls who were rummaging through another surfer’s breakfast bag. One was flying away with a Pop Tart in its bill.]

Surfer: [Highly Creative Expletive] Oh, man. I think I filed a false police report.

[Excerpt from Reading Water, all rights reserved© 2011]