Sounds Like A Tong War

Man tries to rob deli with hot dog tongs.

I Guess Not

A Korean fishing boat sank in New Zealand waters because it was not watertight, an expert witness testified at an inquest today.

The Feast Of Athanasia, 790-860

Again, this is a feast day in the Church of Rome, not the Church of England and All the Colonies [or, as we prefer, The Episcopal Church in the United States], but the life of Athanasia, though not terribly remarkable compared to many of her contemporaries, does highlight an interesting aspect about the relationship between the church and the state in the early Middle Ages.  To wit:

Greek widow and abbess who lived on an Aegean Island. Athanasia's husband of two weeks was killed fighting Saracens. She remarried, and her second husband decided to become a monk. Athanasia agreed and converted her home into a convent, where she became an abbess. Moving the convent to Timia, Athanasia became an advisor to the Byzantine empress during her seven-year stay in Constantinople.

 In fact, she appears to be so minor that I can't find a collect for her.  I was, however, able to find the icon above.  Here's the Collect of a Monastic from our Book of Common Prayer:

O God, whose blessed Son became poor that we through his
poverty might be rich: Deliver us from an inordinate love of
this world, that we, inspired by the devotion of your servant,

may serve you with singleness of heart, and attain to the
riches of the age to come; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who
lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one
God, now and for ever. Amen.

Matthew 4:16, The Secular Version

"This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light."

Feast Of Ancetus, Who Died In 166

The Episcopal Church does not mark this as a feast day, but the Church of Rome remembers Ancetus on April 17th. He was the tenth successor of Simon Peter and, with Polycarp (who is on our calendar), developed the formula for determining the date of Easter.

Enable us, we pray, almighty God, to proclaim the power of the risen Lord, that we, who have received the pledge of his gift, may come to possess all he gives when it is fully revealed. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.

An Obituary Of Note

He abandoned his presidential palace in Lilongwe not out of shame over inhabiting its 300 luxurious rooms, built for $100 million in a country suffering abject poverty, but because he declared it to be haunted and claimed that invisible rodents were running all over him at night.

I Would Have Commended Them For Original Thinking

Which is why I'm the priest of a small parish and no longer a school administrator.

Senior prank lands Murray County students in suspension

It was harmless, creative, and careful to observe decorum and traffic regulations.  So, naturally, the students must be punished.  And how do I know that the administrators know they overreacted?  Behold, the classic "weasel words" uttered by every bureaucratic microbe since the dawn of human history:

"Murray County School Administrator Mike Tuck would not discuss the issue because of the student code of conduct. He would only confirm that "an incident happened."

Well, It Is The Season Of Resurrection

London 2012 organisers wanted Keith Moon to play at Olympics ceremony

For those of you not familiar with the demi-monde of popular music, Mr. Moon was the drummer for The Who.  I say "was" because he died in 1978.  [Thus fulfilling a wish contained in a verse in The Who's breakout single: "Hope I die before I get old."]

Sunday Fun

19 Regional Words

My Ohio grandparents actually used a couple of these.

What May Be The Best Obit Ever

Weary of reading obituaries noting someone's courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died...So many of his childhood friends that weren't killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.

Collect For Easter Saturday

We thank you, heavenly Father, that you have delivered us from the dominion of sin and death and brought us into the kingdom of your Son; and we pray that, as by his death he has recalled us to life, so by his love he may raise us to eternal joys; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

[Things for which I'm thankful:  Guys like this.  100% pure American attitude.]

Collect For Easter Friday

Almighty Father, who gave your only Son to die for our sins and to rise for our justification: Give us grace so to put away the leaven of malice and wickedness, that we may always serve you in pureness of living and truth; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

[Things for which I'm thankful:  Above is the first comic book I ever bought; Fantastic Four #55.  By reading comics I became interested in stories of the "heroic cycle", which lead to reading Greek and Roman myths, then more contemporary literature, then comparative literature, then appreciating opera, then realizing that the archtype of all human endeavor is contained in the life of Jesus and the apostles.  The Marvel Comic Co. helped me generate two Master's theses and a doctoral dissertation.  That was a pretty good return on a 12 cent investment.]

News From Scotland. What Kind Of News, I Have No Idea

Scots deploy taste testers to sample gas leak fish

Time For Something Provocative

In Defense of Herbert Spencer

My former philosophy and ethics students who read The Coracle may recall how we used the general misunderstanding of the works of Spencer as a model as to how not always to trust "credentialed" authority.  An Ivy League degree and position is not always the guarantee of accuracy [trust me, I've had both and know what I'm talking about...er, or don't, but, you know...].  Also, the worst thing a thinking person can do is repeat incorrect information.  Always, always challenge the source.

Collect For Easter Thursday

Almighty and everlasting God, who in the Paschal mystery established the new covenant of reconciliation: Grant that all who have been reborn into the fellowship of Christ's Body may show forth in their lives what they profess by their faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

[Things for which I'm thankful:  Dad's 1963 Chevy Nova.  It contained the first carburetor I ever took apart, thus beginning my lifelong fascination with engines.  Unfortunately, it took a mechanic to put it back together.  My dad finally let me near one of his cars again last year.]

Secular "Easter" Is A Gift That Keeps On Giving

Police arrest 6 ft. Easter bunny statue

Collect For Easter Wednesday

O God, whose blessed Son made himself known to his disciples in the breaking of bread: Open the eyes of our faith, that we may behold him in all his redeeming work; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

[Things for which I'm thankful:  I actually grew up ten minutes away from an amusement park.  It was small and a little ratty, but they had the best popcorn balls and hosted many a memorable Sunday afternoon.]

Update:  Well, here's a pleasant surprise.  The popcorn balls are still made by the same people.  They can be ordered here.

Collect For Easter Tuesday

O God, who by the glorious resurrection of your Son Jesus Christ destroyed death and brought life and immortality to light: Grant that we, who have been raised with him, may abide in his presence and rejoice in the hope of eternal glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be dominion and praise for ever and ever. Amen.

[Things for which I'm thankful:  Above is Rocky Calavito, the only Cleveland Indian from the 1960's worth talking about, arguing with the ref.  Cleveland boys of my generation held Rocky in a veneration usually assigned to Olympians.]

Without Question

Are you smarter than an atheist?

Especially since I scored 100% on the quiz. Give it a try.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer Was Executed On This Day 67 Years Ago

Lots of sources about him; I'll leave it to readers to do their own research, as I'm using this Android device today and it doesn't always want to link.